Have you ever fallen out of love? Did it come suddenly, inexplicably, or did it sneak up on you? Were you out of love for a long time before even realizing?

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she would describe it as "growing apart" / though it happened in an instant

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Discussion (12)¬

  1. Tessa says:

    Absolutely! I fall in and out of love pretty much daily.

    It’s like fireworks, where they fizzle with varying degrees of time — some of them, you could swear you see the afterimage long after the show is over.

  2. Alex says:

    Perhaps not the kind of love you’re looking for, but this happened with my sister and I. She protected me, taught me, and eventually left me. It’s not like the woman my mom keeps in touch with isn’t my sister, she has all the right memories and instincts, but the drugs made her into someone I wouldn’t particularly miss, and definitely don’t trust.

  3. Chazz says:

    Yes. I think it snuck up on me but I only realised in an instant. Just an offhand comment, but the reaction was enough for me to realise I was no longer in love with that person.

  4. Kendra says:

    You had better not be falling out of love, mister!! ;)

  5. Triss Teh says:

    reminds me of Fermina in LITTOC. She took one look at Florentino and never looked back for all those years.

  6. Missy says:

    Both can happen rather instantly, but it’s much easier to fall to love. Falling out of love is much harder than anything else I’ve come across thus far.

  7. I’ve grown apart from many people, but I like to think I’ve learned to tell the difference between falling out of love and becoming comfortable with a lover. I’ve been married five years, and these days I no longer feel the dizzy exhilaration that comes with falling in love, but I am still very happy in a down-to-earth way.

    I suspect that some people think the love is over when this point comes, and spend their lives in and out of relationships trying to find someone who makes them feel exhilarated forever.

    • orinoco womble says:

      Five years is the end of the first phase. Real love evolves over time, takes different shapes, acquires depth.
      The problem is that so many people believe that sex *is* love. It isn’t.
      Disney lied.
      When the sex is over, if you have friendship, respect, and joy, then the wine of your love is mature, cool on the tongue and warming to the soul.

      28 years and counting…

  8. MalikTous says:

    ‘We’re searching for the same things, but we move in different ways.
    Just because Division wants it, that’s the way it stays…
    But everybody shares the same existence anyways!’
    (New Musik)

  9. Caroline says:

    I don’t want to feel exhilarated constantly forever, but I want blips of it forever without a doubt.

    The falling out of love happens at least somewhat gradually. When you realize it’s happened that’s more of a lightning bolt moment.

  10. hamilton says:

    I was in a relationship once for three years that, in hindsight, was only love for maybe a year. Growing apart will always happen if both parties don’t respond instantly. it’s sad, but so is life.

  11. orinoco womble says:

    The sad thing to me is that today people seem to *expect* relationships to die. Friendship, love, whatever–after a year or two or even a few months, they’re gone. Been there, done that, on to the next.

    They never wait for the relationship to mature. A tree takes many years to grow, and until then it will not bear the sweet fruit that feeds body and soul.