I have been training to hold my breath
I want to live in a world where pearls cannot be sold or traded, only given. I want us to discard our scuba gear and aquaculture. I have been training to hold my breath.
This pearl was formed forty-one meters deep. I could not reach it four years ago. I have conditioned the vessels in my lungs, kept myself in places with good air. I have strengthened the muscles between my ribs, learned to conserve my effort and to store air in my stomach, throat, mouth and sinuses. I have added fourteen seconds to my dive.
My father says I could have studied mathematics, volunteered for a charity, tended an urban garden, gotten a job. What are fourteen seconds worth?
We start on the ocean floor, we cannot see the surface. We rise fast. It’s no use but we might as well try. You run out of air. We seal our lips and I give you half of mine. The surface is still far and now we cannot see the bottom. We are rising through formless water and we have seven seconds left.
I want you to toss precious things into the sea for me to recover. Drop them deeper and deeper, drop them too deep, dare me. I don’t want to know for sure.
beautiful depths, in this one.
why do you wanna be dared?
can’t you just go ahead and dive and look for the pearl?
why do you want precious things dropped deeper and deeper?
won’t it come to a point it’s already too deep you will run out of air, and won’t be able to swim right in time to reach the surface?
…and for precious things that were but dropped (read:they could have just have been asked for, taken from the surface).
wouldn’t it be nice to go thru all that diving for natural things instead?
why don’t you wanna know for sure?
Ritz-
Why would you want to know for sure?
Sometimes, when things matter so much, one wants to know for sure.
I always go for what’s real. I always go for what’s true.
In life there are already too many mysteries, natural mysteries we can spend our time mulling over.
Mystifying occurences that can otherwise be understood in a straightforward manner is kinda pushed, contrived.
Why confound an otherwise understandable state?
We all have our natural states. I wanna be appreciated for the real me. I wanna appreciate a person for the real him… or her.
How can one do that if he or she doesn’t know for sure?
Why would I want you to dive for things which I can just give you? or vice versa?
Why would I wanna lead you on a search that may tire you when I already have what you need right in my hands? (or again, vice versa)
Wouldn’t it save us a lot of time and effort if I stop throwing and you stop diving for what I throw? Maybe we’ll find more worthwile and enjoyable things to do if you know for sure whether I enjoy throwing, or if I know for sure whether you enjoy diving.
I can tell you for sure I don’t wanna throw the precious things and have you dive for them deeper and deeper.
I can just hand you the precious things if i know for sure you want them and we can just enjoy our time in the surface… or i can choose to dive with you instead if i know for sure you really wanna dive so we can go deeper and look for precious things that are naturally on the ocean floor – not just thrown.
Or you can also tell me for sure that you prefer to dive for things that I throw if that’s what you really want. At least, you’ll know for sure if i decide to throw precious things still (after letting you know I prefer not to throw over handing them to you) that I am doing it because it’s what you want.
Or you’ll know for sure if I refuse to throw precious things that it’s because I don’t want you wasting time on diving for things that are not naturally on the ocean floor. If they’re right in my hands, why not ask for them?.
And if I know for sure it’s the diving not the precious things that make it fun for you, then you’ll know for sure if I decide to dive with you or not whether diving holds the same mystery for us both.
Knowing for sure makes us cut beyond allusions, misinterpretations and doubts. it allows us to spend our time and effort on the things we love doing best.