April 19th, 2009
Lobotomy
What is worth giving up in order to be calm and happy?
Transcriptorial: Things are better for me now, easier. / Sorry, do I know you?
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What is worth giving up in order to be calm and happy?
Insecurity
“I’m feeling much better now”
I’m working something like that into a song lyric as well.
:-( This comic reminds me of my last relationship…
Actually, maybe that deserves a happy face… :-D . Even if I wasn’t the one to be lobotomized, I came out ahead because he chose it for himself, and life has only gotten better since.
You have the (best? worst?) knack for posting things right as they happen in my life.
“Part of me is missing without knowing you’re okay,”
“I was okay until you called,”
Letting go a little more. Finding a little more strength.
I feel lighter than ever.
The best knack, I hope!
I find a curious satisfaction if there are certain individuals who have hurt me that I cannot remember, I always thought it showed I had left their pain behind.
Much as a lobotomy would feel good, I’m sure, there are certain things I would be just too scared of forgetting. If that makes any sense.
The best revenge is to live well. After growing up abused in various ways, I am grateful to forget the pain because it is no longer who I am. Those who cling to their pain will never live pain-free. And that allows their abusers to win.
That said, I am rereading Charlotte Bronte’s “Villette” for the umpteenth time…for my money it is a much better book than Jane Eyre in every way. This quote resonates both with my own life and today’s Vesper:
“My work had neither charm for my taste, nor hold on my interest, but it seemed to me a great thing to be without heavy anxiety, and relieved of intimate trial; the negation of severe suffering was the nearest approach to happiness I expected to know.”
When dealing with the scars and trauma, I used to tell my counsellor, “I aspire to mediocrity.” Just a normal, day-to-day existence. I require niether excitement nor pain. I have achieved that and it is sweet.
I think I’m a little too attached to my troubles. Makes me feel deeper, more interesting…. more worthwhile?
Ah, me… such is the artist’s struggle.
Worth-the-trouble troubles.
What’s satisfying? If you forget, you’ll keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again. Just think of all the brand new mistakes you’d be missing out on! :D
Damn it, Bones, you’re a doctor. You know that pain and guilt can’t be taken away with a wave of a magic wand. They’re the things we carry with us, the things that make us who we are. If we lose them, we lose ourselves. I don’t want my pain taken away! I need my pain!
You went the natural way?
Yeah, trepanning does have its benefits. You might be able to be more intimate with God, hear Him sing in the shower sometime.
Things are better for me, easier now, because of him. He had to leave for me to realise that what I had learnt didn’t leave with him. I thought it was all in him.
I don’t want a lobotomy. I want to remember what I’ve learnt. I think I’ll miss him for a long time.
You say “Oh no!
Another lobo!”
But I’m happy now
Or don’t you know?
Freedom from thought
Is the way to go.
:)
‘I’d rather have a Bottle in front of me
than have a Frontal Lobotomy…’
I won’t give up a thing, but this will have to go down as one of my favorite SVs, if for no other reason where it was written.
Nothing.
Ever!
I love, need, want the conflict in life.
I used to hate it and now I like struggling through it.
I mean, calmness? happiness? those things are void, empty, unknown — unless you have other emotions — rage, anger, passion, hate, sadness, fierceness, vengeance, love, desire — to balance and -create- them.
What is worth giving up in order to be calm and happy?
That desire to control other people’s calmness and happiness?
In Ashanti’s Colors of the Wind, we have the line : “And we are all connected to each other, In a circle of a hoop that never ends”.
I believe people will find their own fulcrum of calm and solitude, their center, their core…. their happiness.. if they be allowed to define these for themselves.
I believe if a good number of people will be allowed this, they will be sincerely happy and they, in return, will spread their own stamp of calmness and happiness… allowing a continuum of positive energy darting back and forth.
“She told me about a group of people in Guinea who carry the sky on their heads. They are the people of Creation. Strong, tall, and mighty people who can bear anything. Their Maker, she said, gives them the sky to carry because they are strong. These people do not know who they are, but if you see a lot of trouble in your life, it is because you were chosen to carry part of the sky on your head.”
Edwidge Dandicat, “Breathe, Eyes, Memory”
The thought of world peace always kind of horrified me, even as a child. To give up on, or to refuse to face the parts of your life that are ugly, is to refuse to live your life.
Should one be mutually exclusive of the other?
Mayhaps some people achieve peace by facing the parts of their life that is ugly.
…and the way that they face those parts of their life may be different from how we view ugliness or beauty, peace or lack of it.
How do you live your life?
How do I live mine?
I guess that’s the premise behind uniqueness.
Supposed to be.
Lorraine Hansberry said: That which makes you extraordinary, if you are at all, is also that which has the power to make you lonely.
Indeed.