it always seems like no matter how tightly i close my eyes and try to remember her face i just can’t see her anymore. i come close to getting that old feeling in my chest, the feeling i used to get when i was holding her close to me, but it’s just a faint hint of what it used to be. it’s like trying to remember how something tastes. you know what it is like when it is there but you can’t ever, ever remember it clearly enough to be satisfied once it’s gone forever.
I find there is sometimes a temptation to dwell on a feeling or memory for too long, until the potency gets worn out and you lose the thing for real, at least for a little while.
‘It’s just out of reach up in the air,
Who knows how the pieces will land?
There’s a twist in the road around the next bend,
The wheel’s in your hands, the reel’s in your head!
As above, so below,
Let your colours fly, let the goodtimes roll.
Back to the start, to wipe the slate…
Turn away, fickle heart, forget that face…’
(ComSat Angels)
Everytime I close my eyes, I see things that have happened between myself and a guy. Without fail. The only time I escape is when I sleep. It may sound crazy, me saying that “I escape” but it drives me crazy. Knowing that I’ll never be able to have this guy, no matter how hard I try.
Perhaps we do not long for the moment but, rather, the possibility that moment presented?
that glimpse of humanity in that flicker of an instant.
… or instants.
goodness prevails. hope lasts.
I think a lot the desire we have to hold onto moments comes from our own romanticism.
sometimes its an otherwise painful awakening sweetly drawn.
i thank God for hearts that beat.
for hands that draw.
for eyes that see.
for minds that think.
i thank God that at the moment my eyes woke up to the gaping void,
i had someone beside, a hand to hold.
it made me believe that at the core still is man’s basic goodness.
made me believe in love once more.
That moment is what I live for. If I keep remembering it I will never do it right. Im going to lose it.
3. when you realize you could hold it forever, then you can let go
And perhaps vice versa?
it always seems like no matter how tightly i close my eyes and try to remember her face i just can’t see her anymore. i come close to getting that old feeling in my chest, the feeling i used to get when i was holding her close to me, but it’s just a faint hint of what it used to be. it’s like trying to remember how something tastes. you know what it is like when it is there but you can’t ever, ever remember it clearly enough to be satisfied once it’s gone forever.
i often wonder what makes us choose memory over reality? can’t recall the image post but i recall having read about similar musings on the topic here.
I find there is sometimes a temptation to dwell on a feeling or memory for too long, until the potency gets worn out and you lose the thing for real, at least for a little while.
Chasing the dragon.
yeah.
only for a little while.
or for real.
it all boils down to how potent it really is.
‘It’s just out of reach up in the air,
Who knows how the pieces will land?
There’s a twist in the road around the next bend,
The wheel’s in your hands, the reel’s in your head!
As above, so below,
Let your colours fly, let the goodtimes roll.
Back to the start, to wipe the slate…
Turn away, fickle heart, forget that face…’
(ComSat Angels)
Everytime I close my eyes, I see things that have happened between myself and a guy. Without fail. The only time I escape is when I sleep. It may sound crazy, me saying that “I escape” but it drives me crazy. Knowing that I’ll never be able to have this guy, no matter how hard I try.