January 10th, 2009
Blow Away
Of course nothing lasts forever. But nothing lasts for very long. Have you ever gone somewhere, done something, known someone, being especially aware how soon it would blow away. Was it better that way?
Transcriptorial: stay with me but listen / we are less than a little breeze can blow
I remember rejoicing in this sort of “brief encounter” during a short stay at a very oldfashioned, inexpensive spa in the true sense of the word–no expensive pampering, just natural mineral water springs and hotels full of elderly people. The hotels were mostly the sort old people could afford, more emphasis on good nourishing food than “day core.” It was fun to sit down next to an elderly person, initiate contact and then sit back and have them tell me their life story. If they asked me any questions, I would answer vaguely and turn the conversation back to them. Mostly though they were aching to be heard. I heard some wonderful stories that week…some tragic, some romantic, all pieces of someone’s life. At the end of the chat, we picked up the threads of our respective lives and never saw each other again. It was interesting.
I remember in Germany they have a lot of non-snobby spas, bath sites people take sick days to recover in. There are public baths in Montreal, but these are said to specialize in a very different kind of brief encounter between people. When I meet strangers, I also tend to turn the conversation back to them. Good lives, good stories.
I like to think that way about people I meet while on holiday. I have a strange knack for starting up lengthy conversations with complete strangers when I’m visiting somewhere new. Guess I’m approachable … or something. Sometimes we exchange contact info for possible future use, but more often than not it’s simply nice to experience that moment of connection and to let it simple exist as what it is and pass.
This is how I’ve been living my life the past few months: keeping everything fast and free, easy to do and easy to forget about, so that I wouldn’t have any commitments and so no one would be around long enough to break my heart.
Today it hit me how empty it’s made my life. It’s worse this way, I think. I think sometimes, even if it might be risky or painful, it is easier to invest in the long-term.
I don’t know about easier, but certainly more rewarding and nourishing.
No, not because it would blow away. Why would I go somewhere, do something, know someone specifically for the reason that it would blow away?
The world doesn’t need my help in coming up with temporary things. All around me things are ever-changing so if i set my mind or my heart on something, I would be wasting my time if I’d settle for stuff that will just blow away. Well, if I inadvertently need to be somewhere, with something or with someone who will just blow away, I will make it a point to be as detached as I can possibly be.
However if there will be a need to discover the place/thing/person deeper and there’s a tendency I’ll be drawn to the enigma it may become (and I know that it will just vanish into thin air later), then I’ll intentionally blow myself away. No need to wait for it to disappear before I do.
I know it’s not better that way (Heck, it’s not better either way), but then again, why would I allow myself to be attached to something I will just lose?
now leave, disperse, keep it secret
either because none must ever know
or because everyone must search for it themselves
wisdom: you must search for it, it being Dust. (this is the, fourth time I’m reading the trilogy (still learning)) because it blows away you see.
That is why wisdom is wisdom: because you must search for wisdom, journey for it, you learn things along the journey, the journey in search for wisdom. So the wisdom you find in the end is an illusion; it is the “wisdom” you figure out during the journey./
Wait, that’s it! (Capital asterisk)***, that’s my thesis!! THAT’S MY 8888888 THESIS!!! SWEET ************* ********* RELATIVISTIC ************* ************!!!!! sigh* And now, I must work.
thank you
Cue Dylan, ‘Blowing in the Wind’.
It gets harder to blow away, each and every day.
We are the essence of a cloud.
I’m a senior in High School. So yeah i can understand t his.
I mean I’m still starting relationships with anyone knowing I’ll just be gone next year. So knowing it’ll all end I still try to connect because it’d be better than being lonely for a time if i can at all help it.