September 18th, 2008
Fall in Love
Have you ever known anyone with a strange perspective on what was or wasn’t working for them?
Transcriptorial: My problem has always been / I fall so easily in love.
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Random Comic ★
As dumb as it is, when I first saw this one I laughed because, “Goodness! That’s MY problem!”
well i have to admit that sound like me too.
The question makes me think of an OCD. Although, I think it can also be related to a person’s fear. Their perspective on a problem prevents them from solving it.
As for the actual comic, my first reaction was, “When is it ever a BAD thing to fall in love?” and I’m not talking about the “I MUST BE WITH THIS PERSON!” kind of love. I was thinking about the unconditional, “I will literally do everything for this person” kind of love. The kind of love that’s willing to let go and go away if that’s what the other person wanted.
So I thought that the person’s problem wasn’t that they fall so easily in love, but that they need to redefine what “love” means to him/her. It’s not love.
My problem is that I so easily fail in love.
My problem is i do fall easily in love but i notice why…because i really wanted someone to be at my side. But i am a island individaul and i don’t really need no one at all. It just that someone can be convincing that i believe them so gullibly but i make sure to remind myself that i don’t need no one because i’m not in love. I just living my life and enjoying myself. Get to know yourself first then you find that special guy you really wanted and take time with. I learn my lesson at a young age so i understand that all people fall easily in love with the person …they just merely want you to think they love you but actually they want to take up your time. Basically.
That was my problem for a long time, described by others in ways such as “Admirable” or conversely “Not a good strategy.” Now it’s my challenge, to fall and be broken-hearted repeatedly and heal every time with a new scrap of information as my hard-won prize. I wear those old breaks proudly, without the past I wouldn’t have my present.
My problem has always been:
…I can’t force myself to fall in love even when the mind tells me I’d be more secure, more loved, more at peace with a specific person.
… when I love, i focus more on what will be best for the other person even if it means i will be losing myself in the process (or should i even refer to it as me ‘losing myself’? do i not find i am at my most ‘me’ state when I love?…. and I am not just talking about romantic love… agape, filial, romantic – love in general..) … I don’t usually worry about my well-being till it’s too late.
… I can’t force myself to ‘unlove’ a person even when my very being’s silently shouting that I protect myself – that I should stop letting the other person know that whatever s/he does, i will still understand her/him…. i may stay away, i may pull away, i may push away… but always, always, i will justify FOR the people i love (not against them), even if it means i may be the one placed in a precarious situation in the process.
Fall so easily “IN LOVE”…?
Sometimes, I wish I could…
I’ve only been IN love with a person once…
and it has brought me more pain than joy…
but I don’t regret it…
I wouldn’t have even knowing what falling in love AND loving meant had I not been in that situation…
I wouldn’t have even known what falling in love AND loving meant had I not been in that situation…
I fall in love. I am not difficult to win over.
From then on out, my heart is in charge and my mind is tied and gagged somewhere. And then–unless my lover absolutely does not love me at all anymore, I can be dragged through all kinds of hell just trying to hold on…
I can’t let go if there’s still a chance, any chance, that things’ll work out.
Totally my problem. I’ve never had just a “fling” or a “hookup.” Then again, I have friends who complain that they only have empty sex with all the time and have never been able to maintain a strong, healthy relationship. One of them refers to me as a “serial monogamist.” I guess the grass is always greener…?
My problem has always been that my friends are more important to me than I am to them.
I am a “giver” by nature.
Yes, I enjoy giving.
But…
….once in awhile….
…just once in awhile….
it would be nice to get something back.
“The meek shall inherit the earth…if that’s all right with the rest of you.”
I often feel the same way. In fact i’m doing a project right now on The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein, which is all about this sort of thing.
Although I don’t let myself admit it, I find this to be my problem as well. And yet, I still don’t think I’ve done enough for them, provided enough. Loved enough. It just never seems to be enough.
And I take all the pain and criticism they throw back. I guess that once you love somebody, you’ll stick by them, no matter what. I know I would.
Being IN love, however, is a totally different matter for me. I get a crush on every other good-looking guy that so much as looks at me twice. Although, my standards pretty high, so that complicates things somewhat. I pick appart every flaw, disect inch by inch, until all that’s left are skeletons in the cupboard. So there’s never been any progression past the ‘crush’ stage.
[but I do have 2 guy friends that I love- in the platonic sense- and will love, forever]
Sometimes I think I’m flawed, but aren’t we all? We wouldn’t be human otherwise.
To be in love is to be indescribable, like confessing to a secret diary that doesn’t exist. To have a crush is to be unfathomable to any rational thought. When the frontal cortex minds its own business is when love, or something that feels like love cannot be denied anymore. To be in love is to know that you know next to nothing.
There is a line that you cross (metaphorically) when you fall in love. That line happens to occupy the entire arena (arena=metaphorical also).
The above paragraph statement is what happens when you try to rationalize love.
It’s not that we fall so easily in love, but that we are in love with the idea of falling in love. We desire to have someone who wants to have us close, who wants to know who we truly are, who wants to give what is best for us. Someone who wants to be the cause of the smile we display. We want to know that feeling because it truly is the most spectacular and ecstatic sense of emotion in existence. It’s indescribable. And it is certainly indescribable for someone who has never been truly in love or had that love returned. So maybe everything I say in response to this post is completely irrelevant, but maybe not. I’m a completely unbiased candidate, I suppose. Either way, I don’t think that it is possible to fall in love quickly. Nor is there such a thing as love at first sight (that’s lust, my dears). I don’t know what love is, but I know what it’s not.
i truly agree with your comment!!
Seems English has poor definition for ‘love’. Too many are trapped by that and confuse the different sorts… Let’s inject a more practical form like Greek.
It’s not that the definition is especially loose, sweetheart. Yes, the word ‘love’ has a bunch of definitions, but only one is in question here…
It’s that people get confused. If love is different every time one falls in it, and ‘true’ love is different for every person, then how can you know for sure if it’s ever right? ;)
sjaw-
“We desire to have someone who wants to have us close, who wants to know who we truly are, who wants to give what is best for us. Someone who wants to be the cause of the smile we display.”
So what if you do have that…and then somehow lose it?
Seems to me that the real problem is that if you fall in love often, probably you get your heart broken often, as well
“don’t think that it is possible to fall in love quickly.”
Nobody said anything about quickly…
Le coup de foudre, ça existe. Which, being loosely translated, means sometimes love does strike like lightning. Fast, fulminating, life-changing.
Love strike the very being of our hearts …but is it lust? Are we lusting all these years for what? Pleasure, excitement, experiment, or entertainment. Is love that way? Peaceful, understanding, patient, and joy is not love? What is love? …there’s so many definition of them from many viewpoints that is easy to get lost.
I meant the sort of love that is not an emotion but a way of being. Wanting the best for that person, wanting to help them be who they are, and just getting a charge out of their existing in the world. Real love has to be built on mutual respect and admiration as well as understanding. The physical part exists, but unless it’s solidly grounded in the spiritual side, it doesn’t last. If it is, it lasts a lot longer than people would think.
Peaceful understannding, patience and joy in existing together IS a part of love. A large important part.
Alright, that is true, nobody did say anything about quickly. I was more so summing up my response then actually referring directly to the post. Although, it’s not so easy to fall in love, either. Not for all, but for many.
And I was stating why it is that we easily fall in love. We easily fall in love with the feelings associated with it, as listed before. Sometimes we don’t pay attention to who the actual person is who is distributing this attention and these feelings. Really, what I mean to say is that love is just one big confusing ball of mess! And pretty much everyone knows that. Rationalizing it is impossible.
Yes, if you fall in love often, chances are you do get your heart broken often. Or you do the heartbreaking, but that also has some hefty repercussions.
Adding to the line of confessionals: I am too insecure to let myself fall in love (and afraid, I think).
My ma is overly emotional and calls herself ‘passionate’. ha:P
But then, how many people have the guts to blame themselves, or else, to point at real faults of theirs as a cause?
Not me! I have too much faith in myself as a good human being, and even if I did it would be privately, and not to the rest of the world.
Sounds like Paul Simon, “Something So Right.”
“When something goes wrong, I’m the first to admit it.
I’m the first to admit it–and the last one to know.”
“You’re so pretty. Would you stand beside me?
Maybe they will think I’m beautiful like you.
You’re so pretty. Would you lay down by me?
Maybe you could help me feel beautiful too.
Maybe we could understand each other.
Maybe we could finally feel in love.
Maybe we could…
Maybe we could…
Maybe we could finally feel okay.”
Pretty (She Can Save You) by Cloud Cult
I fall in love a thousand times a day, but really I’m just trying to find a reason to love myself.
I can’t stay in love, haha. My biggest crush was my first and last boyfriend, and we only went out for a year and two months, while I had been thinking of breaking up since after eight months… and all my friends have crushes and i can’t keep mine! haha, maybe its just because i’m so young