Do you know anyone who won’t shut up about it when they are right, no matter how unimportant it is? Someone who would build a fence in the wilderness just to be on the right side of it?
Doesn’t it mean that if someone “who won’t shut up about it when they are right” is eliciting this type of reaction, you’re the one building the fence and not the other person?
maybe for some people, explaining things is tantamount to making a stand.
maybe, they do not really explain so YOU see them as right (for that would mean you think the other person values your opinion too much). or so OTHERS see them as right.
maybe they are standing for WHAT is right, not for WHO is right.
maybe they are making a stand for the few ones who don’t see standing up for what’s right as unimportant.
( if it’s really “unimportant to be right about it”, why would you state “I hate how you always have to be right”?)
is it because that person going to his side of the fence (your own separator) highlights that you’re on the other side of it?
why be so affected? why hate? why stake out a claim that the fences (your own contention – own divider) are from nowhere to nowhere?
are you saying, “it’s senseless”? that the other person is senseless?
aren’t you doing the very thing you are throwing at the other side of the fence?
I guess I’d respond to all those questions with either “maybe” or “depends”. Sometimes people do stand for what is right, and sometimes they do only care about being right.
Making a big deal out of nothing makes some people feel creative.
In reality, people who always have to be right only ever end up almost winning. This is why every child must eventually get good at growing up.
“Heirs of the Living Body” by Alice Munro is an exhilarating short story. I’m not sure that it’s related to any of this, but I thought of it randomly while typing.
Where I grew up it seemed to be a trait in people of a certain age, this need to be “right”, to lay down the law, to have everyone keep their personal rules…without feeling the need to respect the rules (or needs, or rights) of others. I recognised the tendency in myself and fought against it. It is not attractive or helpful.
Stand up for your principles, certainly. But the person who becomes angry is usually the one with the issues.
Yeah, I have some friends who try this route when they think they’re right, then fail to understand when their issue gets ‘cancelled’ or otherwise totally rejected. I use that common rejection as a means to prevent hostilities, though it essentially also prevents further communication on the subject and leaves both sides to their own belief or truth on the original subject.
my roommate… every time he’s correct, wins a game of any sort, or knows any obscure fact, he won’t shutup, I try telling him god job once or twice,then attempt to drop it, he won’t though… its worse if I ignore it. *sigh*
Oh yes. Most definitely.
Doesn’t it mean that if someone “who won’t shut up about it when they are right” is eliciting this type of reaction, you’re the one building the fence and not the other person?
maybe for some people, explaining things is tantamount to making a stand.
maybe, they do not really explain so YOU see them as right (for that would mean you think the other person values your opinion too much). or so OTHERS see them as right.
maybe they are standing for WHAT is right, not for WHO is right.
maybe they are making a stand for the few ones who don’t see standing up for what’s right as unimportant.
( if it’s really “unimportant to be right about it”, why would you state “I hate how you always have to be right”?)
is it because that person going to his side of the fence (your own separator) highlights that you’re on the other side of it?
why be so affected? why hate? why stake out a claim that the fences (your own contention – own divider) are from nowhere to nowhere?
are you saying, “it’s senseless”? that the other person is senseless?
aren’t you doing the very thing you are throwing at the other side of the fence?
I guess I’d respond to all those questions with either “maybe” or “depends”. Sometimes people do stand for what is right, and sometimes they do only care about being right.
That’s sure a long, angry rant about why people who argue are right.
The irony…
curious.. who’s angry? who’s ranting?
hmm.. i guess it helps to define one’s believes, traits, values and thus the need to argue.
but if done in excess and not considering other’s views, well that’s just obsession.
Maybe they are making a big deal out of nothing.
Children are notorious for this.
Making a big deal out of nothing makes some people feel creative.
In reality, people who always have to be right only ever end up almost winning. This is why every child must eventually get good at growing up.
“Heirs of the Living Body” by Alice Munro is an exhilarating short story. I’m not sure that it’s related to any of this, but I thought of it randomly while typing.
Some need confirmation for their existence.
Once they find it, they will grasp it for dear life, until it is juiced dry of its essence.
I never blame people for it. After all, it would really suck being in their shoes.
It’s more important to be real than to be right.
Where I grew up it seemed to be a trait in people of a certain age, this need to be “right”, to lay down the law, to have everyone keep their personal rules…without feeling the need to respect the rules (or needs, or rights) of others. I recognised the tendency in myself and fought against it. It is not attractive or helpful.
Stand up for your principles, certainly. But the person who becomes angry is usually the one with the issues.
batting average : real and right usually go together.
unless being real has completely morphed into a whole new word defined: justification.
Yeah, I have some friends who try this route when they think they’re right, then fail to understand when their issue gets ‘cancelled’ or otherwise totally rejected. I use that common rejection as a means to prevent hostilities, though it essentially also prevents further communication on the subject and leaves both sides to their own belief or truth on the original subject.
the people who love to hear themselves speak usually have the most annoying voices…
True. The British used to have a lovely phrase for it, back in about the 20′s: “Not embarassed at sound of own voice.”
my roommate… every time he’s correct, wins a game of any sort, or knows any obscure fact, he won’t shutup, I try telling him god job once or twice,then attempt to drop it, he won’t though… its worse if I ignore it. *sigh*