Do you find it hard to leave yourself? Do you think it is important to try? What is a style, really? This is the fourth in a series of six installments beginning here: http://secretvespers.com/2008/07/21/pieces-part-1/
Secret Vespers
by Patrick Edwards-Daugherty
How does one leave oneself? Wherever you go, you take you with you. Trying to leave yourself leads to dissociation. This I know about. It’s a good defense mechanism in extreme situations but can lead to the shattering of the base person if overused, whether by necessity or habit.
Style at its best is always unconscious. Once it becomes aware of itself it runs the risk of becoming contrived, and degenerating into a “look” or “fashion.”
Any situation in which I have “left” myself, I’ve realized I didn’t lose myself entirely, but I left others, and lost them.
I think my “self” is all I have, and I surely don’t want that to leave.
And I agree with womble about style. Very true.
But surely you change over time and experience? And some people come along with those changes, and some I suppose don’t. Just to raise the question.
But now I’m not so sure. Can we grow if we never leave ourselves? If I were to stick to this path I have chosen – who I’ve chosen to become, what I believe, how I act – if I choose not to leave any of this behind, is change, growth, in the cards, then?
Then again I’m still a youth. Perhaps I’ll revisit this question when I’ve matured, eh, and have a better sense of self.
While I cast into the Dreamtime and the adjacent Spirit Paths when I sleep and dream, it is more extending myself than actually leaving. Leaving is intended to be my last act in this life…
Changing lifethreads, though, is a difficult option. I use the education and abilities I have to try to choose best options for my own purposes. These are not always ‘the way everyone else does it’ according to some people, but often the way I abandoned was rejected for reasons other than style. Whether a minor alternation to reject adding stupid exceptions to already overloaded English, or a major one to reject some political botch done by our stupid politicians, I choose my own way and stick to it. Adding french junk to English without fixing the spellings is just plain lame, as is scrambling date formats. I refuse to accept bad policy and am legally protesting much of it…
I think of it as different configurations.
Whenever I approach a problem without using some of my traits, it just means they’re dormant, somewhere.
I have tried to bring myself to have objective vision. It is a work in progress.