May 26th, 2008
Never Change
Should your friends encourage you to change, or to stay the same? Which do you think is more helpful, more dangerous, or both?
Transcriptorial: Don't ever change, you used to say.
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Depends on what kind of a person you are.
oh this one is my favorite yet. I think the best friends let each other be what they are, and give each other room to grow, even when it is awkward and painful for a time. also, I have a song for you!
I think as long as your friends encourage you to be yourself, it doesn’t matter which way you go. After all, if they aren’t supporting you, then what kind of friends are they?
And on a different note, seeing this post made me sad because I accidentally killed a butterfly this morning. I was traumatized.
I think change is important and inevitable. Where friends come in in this process is in reminding someone of who they are or who they are becoming. a person could get lost in all the turmoil…
a friend should never try to change you, however if you are wanting to change then a friend should allow you to change, for better or for worse. then you can see for your self if it was worth it. it’s harder being the friend i suppose, who is expected to sit back and watch you change right before their eyes, into something that may not be the best, in terms of things one could be.
Reminds me of friends of mine who spend a lot of time trying to change their SO’s behaviour, hobbies etc. and then complain “they’re not the person I fell in love with.” Respect is the key, as Quin says above. Growth implies change–from within. Forced change from without is seldom welcome, and seldom lasting. Encourage your friends to grow by offering new experiences, but don’t try to play policeman or schoolmaster. Give the respect you want to get.
I love this one.
A lot of heartache comes from wishing others to be what they’re not- whether that means discouraging their inevitable changes or forcing changes that aren’t meant to be. The best friends are those who can accept every aspect of you- past, present, and future. And the most gifted are those who understand who you are meant to be.
Growth should be change – Change the errors, but try to keep what works.
It’s a very broad question, isn’t it? What are we changing? Do we want to change? Is it change for the better?
I think, in this case, it’s both helpful and dangerous, depending on a lot of things. I think the main issue is whether or not your friends and you want to see a change.
I liked the comment Sophie made. “I think as long as your friends encourage you to be yourself, it doesn’t matter which way you go. After all, if they aren’t supporting you, then what kind of friends are they?”
However, I couldn’t help but think about how some friends change into things you don’t want them to change into because you originally liked them for who they used to be. Sometimes it’s sad, but in the end you realize you’ll change too and you will find new friends.
i don’t know about you guys but i’ve got incredible friends and we say this to each other all the time. its not that we love each other (and make no mistake, friendship is the greatest kind of love) for or in spite of our flaws and attributes its that we love each part of them because it makes up who they are, and that doesn’t change. people take up new hobbies, change opinions, grow new and more mature outlooks on life, but unless they stop being true to themselves (or never were in the first place) i belive they remain fundementally the same.
Always, always change. You can’t live your life and remain static. They’re mutually exclusive.
Change is the only permanent thing.