April 11th, 2008
Aloe Vera
At what point do you stop living only as others find you useful, and see how far you can grow?
Transcriptorial: She pushed until she shattered her pot, / and gave her salve to no one.
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At least she isn’t a ‘triffidus celestis’…
My point comes in less than a month. I leave this town behind and fulfill my own dreams. I’ve never been so happy in my life as I am at the thought of it, yet I know it is only going to get better.
at your breaking point. the moment when nothing that anyone says about you, or thinks of you matters any more. when you are finally strong enough to be yourself.
At the point at which you realise that other people say “no” to you all the time, and you live.
That’s the point where you grow up and realise you are a fit controlling power.
Always.
Within, without.
Once you are the system, the system is you. Your eternal slave. Polygonal clay in your hands.
All that it asks in return is everything. Complete dedication, subjugation. Your soul.
It’s nice to grow in square, expected ways. You can get infinitely large, and nobody will see an anomaly.
My aloe was the size of quarter when I got her. Now I have six aloes, from the size of an old rotary phone down to a quarter. When I finally repotted them all into their own pots from which they could grow as big as they wanted to, they all faded and wilted.
I think they were grieving for each others absence.